Gloveshot

THE Pill

As the hours pass by, the electronic pacifier known as television bombards Americans with commercial after commercial after infomercial about all the things that are wroong with us.

Mostly, we hear that we are too fat, have acne, have heartburn, or worst of all, we have bad breath. Also men have droopy dick, women leak varios fluids, we fart, we bloat, we have headaches, and of course, our legs are restless.

Also we poop to much, or can't poop at all. Our children have ADD. We are depressed. Our children have ADD. Our hands and knees ache. The list is endless. But every malady has a cure. Juast ask your doctor to get you THE Pill.

THE Pill will keep you up all night with dizziness and constipation, but don't drive or operate machinery during the day, because THE Pill will make you drowsy with loose stools. Getting rid of your heartburn will give you aheadache. getting rid of your headache will give you dry mouth. Drinking watter to relieve your dry mouth will make you have to pee. THE Pill to hold your water will bloat you. The circle is endless.

Most importantly, do not take THE Pill if you are pregnant, may become pregnant, are nursing, living, breathing, or taking any OTHER Pills.

I'm NOT a doctor, and I don't even play one on the net. But I say maybe it is time to save the money. Quit buying THE Pills. You know that very soon THE ULTIMATE PILL (TUP) will be on the market. TUP will cure your acne, make you skinny, make your manhood stand up for a non-leaking woman. You will sleep all night, poop on schedule, be able to eat everything at the buffet, never have an ache or pain, and your children will be A+ students. All with out side effects, even if you are pregnant. You will also become the ultimate real estate agent/broker, be able to cook perfect meals in 3 minutes, and have the cleanest bathroom in the universe.

For only $8000 per month, TUP will do it all for you. (Results not typical. Individual results wll depend on many factors. Do not take TUP if you are alive.)

posted by gloveshot @ 8:14 AM